Bitches be Formidable aka she's a Smart House... You could say that she's bright, brainy gifted WONDAHFUL whatever

On this eve on the Glee Season 4 finale, let's take a second to reflect on another filler episode that didn't really take us anywhere we wanted to go, but it was still a wonderful, joyous and optimistic ride to the last episode. Stevie wondaaaaaaaa people. Show of hands... who watched this episode???? If I were not obsessed with Glee I probably wouldn't care enough to watch... but since I am... it just happened so here is a recap. 

The theme for this episode came about when Ms. Rachel Barbara Berry called Mr. Shue to be a complete and utter kiss ass and tell him that she got another callback for Fannie Brice. She called HIM before all others! Cue Mr. Shue's horrid fake crying face, even though she only called him because she knew he was not worthy enough to be mentioned when she accepts her Tony on stage.

So Mr. Shue is just in a WONDAFUL mood, especially since he and Emma are engaged again and planning to get hitched right after Regionals (which coincidentally is falling on the same week as last year's NATIONALS...? ) so he decides to assign Stevie Wonder songs to everyone so that they can all be uptight and wonderful with him. (Emma must have gotten fired... bitch hasn't shown up for work in like 5 weeks.)

So the doorbell rings and Mercedes and Mike Chang are back in town for no reason. Hey Glee, instead of bringing back old people for no reason, why don't you let Sugar Motta just attend school like a normal student and be in the Glee Club regularly?!?! Mercedes has a "record deal" and is in town to coach the New Directions and hit them in their stomachs with maracas. Mike Chang just wants to dance. While giving advice, Mercedes Chang decide to encourage our young grasshopper Jake Puckerman to shine bright like a diamond and show the world what kind of leader/dancer he can really be! So Mike and Jake danced together and yeah yeah yeah it was alllllllllll that. Should I go on... Jake can dance. I would prefer to see him do like a leg hold turn or something but I guess pop locking and droppin will have to do for now.

Also, it turns out that Mercedes' producer back in LA wants to just use her voice and not her face a la "Everybody Dance Now" and also wants her to show a little more shoulder shoulder ha cha cha! But she was all HELL TO THE NO you try to take away my tots and I say hell to the no. Cuz I'm the one who calls the shots. So Mercedes decided to take the HIGHER GROUND and make a record HEY way and Trouty Mouth did a body roll. And she sang "Higher Ground."

So whilst all dis is happening, a strange and confusing friendship/relationship moment happened between Artie Abrams and Kitty Delafleur. Clearly we are just going to completely ignore the fact that Kitty and Ryder had this dramatic, revealing and emotional saga last episode, and are going to just take Ryder completely out of this episode so Kitty can help Artie. Kitty's interests are all over the place. But yeah, Artie got into Brooklyn Film Academy (do I smell another roomie for Kurt, Rache and Satan?) but he is scared to go to NY because it is not wheelchair-friendly and also his mom...something about his mom. This episode was last week... I can't even remember what I was doing last Thursday night in my own life. So Kitty intervened twice- once by telling the whole Glee Club that Artie got into college without his permission and twice by sneaking into his Smart House, turning the Smart House Mom into a real mom again and then telling her about Artie's fear. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!' The house has come to life!!!!!! But Artie's Smart House mom was of course adorable and Artie is awesome and cute and doesn't want to leave his mommy. But Artie's blaccent is awful and just wrong, sorry Mags. But otherwise, this little nugget of the episode gave us one more Artie spotlight before he rolls on out of our lives forever (I'm sure he will get no play in the season finale) and showed us once and for all that Kitty Kat is an angel sent from heaven.

Meanwhile, in New York City, news of Rachel's callback for Funny Girl is spreading like WILDFIRE and anyone who is anyone is chattering about it in the Nyada hallways. Cassie July finds out about the audition and decides to schedule Rachel's final exam either in close proximity to the audition or like the next day (can't remember). She also ran into Babs at Target, and as always, Kate Hudson is doing a great job being a raging bitch. I keep thinking that Kate Hudson was just on TMZ drunkenly yelling at a cop but no... that's not right is it? So Rachel shows up for her dance final and I'm thinking, "Do we really have to watch Rachel dance again this season?!?" but SURPRISE!!! It was all a ruse, Ole Casserole was really planning a good luck party/open book final/audition send-off for her favorite little David Schwimmer! OMG HOW SWEET WAS THAT, PEOPLE! Did not see that coming at all, and Kate Hudson and Rachel B. were just over the top adorbs. Omg Lea Michele must have filmed that scene like right after Cory went to rehab and they were all like rallying around her and such and I am crying just thinking about it. At the end of it all, Cassie was all "You're gonna get it" (the audition) and they hugged. Damn you Glee, you always know... you always know.

Oh yeah- Kurt is back in Lima! But only to get test results for Burt's cancer treatments wamp wamp WAMPPPPP. He has been gettin real NARVOUS about these results and has developed some OCD tendencies...please stay away from Q tips aaaghhhhh. Gwoss. Anyway, he is BACK and we are all wondering what is up with Kurt and Blaine. Well... Blaine is over Sam I guess? And did Blaine apply to Nyada? Did he already have his big audition with Whoopi? I'm not sure why he is so convinced he is moving to NY but hopefully he is freaking going to COLLEGE. But anyway, Blaine found Burt Maclin and wanted to talk to him about marriage equality you know BIG OLE EQUAL SIGN JASON COLLINS BORN THIS WAYYYY JUST PUT YOUR PAWS UP. And then he asked Burt for his blessing if he were going to propose to Kurt, to which Burt of course gave the best Burt advice as he always does when saying "Did you learn anything from Finn and Rachel." hahahahhhahah. TDODO. When two people love each other, everything works out. You so right Burtie Boy. Also, Burt is cancer-free!!! And ready to have old people sex! So Kurt brought Burt into the choir room and all of the new kids were like who tf is this old man.

Tina is going to Veterinary school...

Harmooooonnnnnica.

Overall Grade for the Episode: A-

Not much happened, yet... twas still wonderful.

Favorite Performance of the Episode: This goes against everything I believe but Uptight performed by Cassandra July. It was cute okay?

Least Favorite Performance of the Episode: They were all kind of boring... but they were all kind of good, and none were more boring than the others. But I'll knock down "For Once In My Life" for selecting Marley Rose as a backup dancer.

Favorite Moment of the Episode: Smart House threatening to tip Artie over.

Least Favorite Moment of the Episode: Mr. Shue's reaction on the other side of that phone call.. barf!

Glist:

1. Blaine

2. Jake

3. Rachel

4. Casserole

5. Mike Chang

6. Kitty

7. Burt

8. Sam

9. Sugar Motta... i'm starting to get angry

10. Smart House for being the smartest house around

Other Thoughts:

-Again where is Sugar

-I love when Mike Chang speaks
-I love Blaine. He has more confidence and swagger than the whole rest of the club combined.
-Marley is a great singer. Awkward as hell.

-You better hit that high note Kitty Kat!

Next Episode:

Season Finale! Wedding! Regionals. As long as there is no gangham style I'm happy! CATFISH REVEALED??? True Life: I am a catfish revealed. No Finale will ever top last year's breakup scene so keeping my expectations lowww.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h0bxM-SrRQ

American Idol:

AMBBBERRRRRRRR was eliminated last week nooooo she made me cry 75,000 times. Kree needs to go next, even though her back story is so damn sad and touching. 

Also they are in talks for a new judge. I think Pink would be a good option. Also there is this British guy I have been hearing a lot about named Simon Cowell that might be a good fit. Just get Mariah OUTTA DERE A$AP!