Brusha Brusha: You know it aint no Glee we be getting lots of Reeeeee

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IT'S SHOWTIME! Or should I say ho-time? (I'm looking at you Cassie)

This week was all about McKinley High's amateur yet strangely professional and flawless production of the greatest musical of all time: Grease, a musical all about fixing cars... really? I thought it was a love story? either way either way let's take a blood oath with ma brothaz and get the bottles poppin for another solid Glee Season 4 Episode!

As in typical Glee fashion, no performance can go on without first overcoming some haters and obstacles, and this play was no different.

Obstacle #1 Mr. Shue is leaving. My reaction was the same as Unique's (what's the fuss about?) but everyone seemed distressed because Finn is the new coach and is not qualified to do anything but give inspirational talks to Rachel.

Obstacle #2 Sue is back like she left something. So NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE, why Finn was so strangely offensive last week by calling Sue's baby retarded! They needed some conflict so that Sue hates Glee again and so that the boys have a reason to perform in an auto shop.

Obstacle #3 Unique was pulled out of the play. Although Unique's parents are fine with Unique being a unique girl on a unique stage in Chicago and in the confines of Unique's own home, they do not want to risk Unique's safety by allowing Unique to perform in drag in OHIO OF ALL PLACES. QUICK...WE NEED A NEW RIZZO!

:::Flashback to my blog from last week:::

"she [Unique] WAS NOT BORN TO PLAY RIZZO THAT ROLE BELONGS TO SANTANA FREAKING LOPEZ SO EVERYONE SHUT UP."

Ok either I am part-psychic or Ryan Murphy has been reading my blog and then changing his scripts. Either possibility works for me. So Santana returns (they conveniently left off her reasoning for being back in town just in time for us to not care) to play Rizzo and Unique is left looking dramatic in the audience.

Obstacle #4 Marley may or may not be in the early stages of an eating disorder. (Maggie/Brittany totally called this!) Kitty Kat, that sly dog, is still on the warpath and in her infinite wisdom tricked skinny ass Marley into thinking she was gaining weight and on the way to swan diving into her fat genetic pool. Feeling paranoid about her destiny, Marley went to her mom for advice. And instead of hearing the normal " girl you're amazing just the way you are", or the " that's what makes you beautiful" or the "baby you were born this way" pep talk, Marley's mom encouraged her to fight to be thin and beautiful? Huh? Shouldn't there have been something in there about as long as you are healthy that is all that is important? This is why bitches are messed up in the head. THIN IS ALWAYS IN and it's so exhausting.  Happy Hunger Games! But I digress.

At her girls only + Unique sleepover, Kitty urged Marley to give Bulemia a whirl, come on everyone is doing it! Even for Kitty that was messed up- but Marley isn't smart enough to step on a scale and realize that she actually hasn't gained a pound so she started on her downward spiral. Just when Marley reached her lowest point and decided to take a trip to the Wiz Palace, none other than BLAKE/RYDER stepped in to provide an inspirational story about laxatives and publicly shitting yourself. Sigh. Blake is so dreamy.

So Marley changed into an EVEN TIGHTER outfit which made Blake go all bow chicka wow wow. Which teaches us all the valuable lesson that it doesn't matter if you are fat or skinny as long as you are a slut.

But seriously, where was Glee's lesson on body acceptance? Maybe that''ll come later and this was just a warm-up. Also Blake and Marley kissed! I am so into it!

Now let's all go to Gullah Gullah island aka NYADA

Back in dance class, Kate Hudson was vewy sneakay and up to no good. She hired Brody as her TA, and then got Rachel to leave town after being metaphorically bitched slapped when Rachel suggested that she try to get back in the game. Rachel, Cassandra is a baddd bitch and she is THE GAME. THE GAME IS THE GAME AND MY NAME IS MY NAME. And Cassie and Brody got it on and of course Cassandra rubbed it in Rachel's face like a true boss.

Poor Rachel. We all know that feeling when you are in an emotionally fragile state trying to get over one boy by liking another one and then the new boy turns out to be an asshole too and it feels like you have been stabbed in the pelvis by 500 tiny little knives. That is what we witnessed in this episode. Kudos to Glee for a 15th straight brilliant Finchel scene, as Finn witnessed Rachel's 1 kind of crying and realize it wasn't for him. But it kind of was right? That's why she ran out of the auditorium... but regardless it's over for real now. And they will not be in contact at all...not even in song. And scene.

Overall Grade for the Episode A

Here is why I loved this episode: Great music. Plot fit into the songs and songs added to the plot. A couple genius moments and Rachel looks less crazy. Also I thought that Rachel and Kurt's return was extremely realistic and it takes a lot for Glee to be realistic.

Favorite Moment of the Episode: There were many, but this line from Sue took the cake: "This just one of your ill conceived bizarrely sentimental schemes that displays absolutely no forethought and appears immediately ridiculous to everyone in America except you."

Least Favorite Moment of the Episode Tina throwing a tantrum about Finn becoming the director. Bitch back up.

Favorite Performance(s) of the Episode:

They were all so good but my favorite was You're the One that I Want and here's why:

Marley and Ryder started it off with a bang. Sounded so good, great dancing and acting. So fun and awesome! Would have already been my favorite without the genius twist. When they freaking turned that shit into a flashback..... I will try to describe my feelings now. I was so happy to see the old gang up there performing and especially knowing that this was just in their imaginations so it wasn't corny or anything. BUT THEN THE FLASHBACK TO RACHEL AND FINN IN SEASON 1 AND RACHEL DRESSED LIKE SHE WAS WHEN SHE TRIED TO SEDUCE FINN... and singing the words "You're the one that I want." My heart lowered all the way to the floor but my brain was still up and singing along to the music. I was verklempt to say the least. And this is easily my favorite performance of the season so far.

Other Great Performances:

Beauty School Dropout -Not to be repetitive but Blaine is the most perfect human being ever created and then you throw in Sugar Motta and you have just spun pure gold rumplestilskin!

Greased Lightning Sam Evans is the show and he sounded so perfect. Mike Chang FULL OUT PEACE OUT.

Sandra Dee (Marley)- so perfect and wonderful! Get it girl!

There are Worst Things I Could Do- Never thought I would be happy to see Kate Hudson sing. All 3 (Santana, Unique and Cassie) sounded so good and the words worked with the plot, although I'm confused who pissed in Santana's cheerios.

Look at me I'm Sandra Dee (Kitty) About jumped out of my seat when they transitioned into this and put on Marley's wack hat. Could have done without the handstand booty pop (slut ass Brittany) but the whole thing was so cute.

Glist

1. Sam- I just cannot deny Trouty Mouth's effortless star power

2. Blake/Ryder- I feel like he has been on the show for 4 seasons

3. Marley- coming into her own! I am actually rooting for her now. Miracles happen once in a while when you believe

4. Blaine

5. Rachel- I feel for you. Great job acting and going in the right direction away from crazytown

6. Sugar Motta

7. Finn

8. Kitty

9. Brody- he got game.

10. Jake

Other thoughts

-Can someone explain what is wrong with Santana?  I feel out of the loop

-Tina has turned into the Toby Flenderson/ Jerry of Glee and I love it! She gets shat on again and again!!!
-Brody's back muscles are like whoa

-"Where is Harajuku girl?"

-Mercedes calling the highschoolers kids was laughable. Bitch you just graduated 5 minutes ago

-Tina and Mike, we stopped caring about you the minute we found out you broke up

-They need to stop re-using old jokes ie Sue throwing stuff outside of Figgins office

Next Week's Glee Episode

RETURN OF THE WARBLERS AND I'M SO READY. Superheros? I'll bite... let's go for 4 great ones in a row! PUCKERMAN 
Watch the promo here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hesTc20Gy9A