DADDY WASN'T THERE PEACE! SuperBuddies cuz I always rock the New New Directions

Because Glee really wanted this episode to happen, a Pre-Thanksgiving episode occurred during Thanksgiving knowing good and well that the real Thanksgiving episode is a week after Thanksgiving. I've accepted it and moved on and so should you.

Here is what went this week for all of you who only read my blog and do not actually watch the episode anymore (BURN IN HADES!)

Finn is dressing like Mr. Shue, and his marker isn't working, his foreigner theme isn't working, his coffee drinking isn't working. After realizing that no one in the Glee Club was listening to him at all about anything, he made a lesson that would not really be relevant but would provide a great title for tonight's episode: DYNAMIC DUETS. The point of this lesson is to bring the Glee Club together by forcing people who don't like each other to sing together and dress up like superheroes but REALLY what it means is that he wants to spotlight the newbies and ignore the people who could really be singing some great duets: Artie, Sam, Blaine, Rachel, Kurt etc. He said some crap about the Avengers that would probably make this lesson seem more logical but the moral of the story is that Finn is a hot mess, and at the end there was a lot of cheering for him for no apparent reason and I think it was sarcastic cheering but one never knows do one?

Moving on. So at the center of this episode, we had a lil love square/friendship quadrilateral featuring Marley aka Wack Face, Mega Stud Faces Jake and Ryder Strong and of course Kitty Cat Woman. This is going to get complicated so follow along white people!

Kitty and Marley are frenemies. Marley is a low self-esteem having brunette and Kitty is a bad ass hilarious blonde. Kitty can't decide if she wants to help Marley or kill her. Marley is still Bulemic because Kitty told her to be, but then Kitty helped her go from Wall Flower to WOMAN FIERCE! But does Kitty hate her?? Or does she love her? The "Some Nights" performance was really chummy. But whatever, Marley decides at the end that she is gonna be a fierce slut instead of a nice wall flower, which is pretty much the conclusion of every glee episode.

Ryder and Jake are of course fighting over Marley, which is so baffling to me since her choice of hat has gotten worse with each passing scene. So in order to remain in the Glee Club, Jake and Ryder chose the same superhero alter ego, Mega Stud after being paired to sing together. Although how did Ryder know that mega started with an "M" and stud started with a "S"? Learn to read fool! So after doing a performance/fight scene which ended in an all out brawl hellz yeah, Finn, in his infinite wisdom, ordered Jake and Ryder to sit in a room and admit their deepest fears so that they could become a real-life dynamic duo. That's a really specific request from Finn but they seemed to accept their assignment with no argument so maybe I'm the crazy one?

Jake admitted to Ryder that his deepest fear is not fitting in with others because he is mixed race... . ok whatever, moving on. Ryder's biggest fear is that he can't read!!! His whole life must be like a horror movie because it's not just a fear- it's a reality! And Ryan Murphy has dropped in another social issue for us to swallow, digest and vomit all over a Glee Blog. Ryder cannot even read the word FLORB I mean this kid has problems. So he had a tantrum in front of his new Glee Club coach (those Glee Project acting lessons coming in handy) and of course there is a daddy issue wrapped up in there too. At least your dad wasn't dishonorably discharged from the army for drug use, Ryder gosh get a grip!

So all of this ended with Jake and Ryder becoming friends, which makes it awkward since they both want to bang Marley. Of course, Jake needed advice on how to handle this so he made a mid-school day call to his brother/BFF (when the hell did this happen) Noah Puckerman, who clearly had the greatest superhero identity of all: Pucker Man. Of course Puck has all the answers, as he is having relations with Teri Hatcher AND he was caught in this EXACT same situation when his best friend Finn was dating the love of his life, Quinn back in Season 1. So Puck gave this brotherly advice: Don't be a dick, but don't give up. Which actually is pretty great advice. So are Jake and Ryder gonna be BFF's now? Also Marley is a bitch- Ryder is trying to come to grips with his learning disability and you are just gonna move onto Jake like the whore that you wanna be? I hope Puck comes back and makes out with Marley to show everyone who is boss.

What Blaine Did/Warblers/Slaine

Although I just wrote a long diatribe on the new characters, the really important and relevant plot point of this episode is that Blaine Warbler needed to get his groove back. The Warbler beef is back on bout it bout it and they have gone and stolen the New Directions unsecure Nationals trophy! Of course Blaine is the only one who knows the layout of Dalton Academy's campus, so he was sent to negotiate with the terrorists. Once he arrived, he was greeted by Sebastian (who has a wack ass haircut) and Hunter who made the rookie villain mistake of revealing his master plan way earlier than necessary. And the master plan was to get Blaine to rejoin the Warlbers, which OF COURSE that was the plan, that is probably every Ohio show choir's master plan for the 2012-13 season. So they forced Blaine into a blazer and the Blazer Buddies performed a Kelly Clarkson song that was far better than the X Factor Kelly Clarkson cover that we had just witnessed minutes before. Sidenote: If there is a harp in the room, someone needs to be playing it. Sebastian said it best, Blaine was FLAWLESS, and this made Blaine's mind wander over to the dark side and consider quitting the New Directions to follow his birthright and his destiny. Because he is a child of destiny. A destiny's child.

Of course, the New Directions were OUTRAGED when hearing the news, but really we should all take a second and think about this scenario. Blaine did only transfer to McKinley for Kurt (which should have warned us that Blaine is a tad bit co-dependent) and now that Kurt AND Rachel are gone... it would seem in his best interest to go be with his friends again since he is just a sad sack of sad roaming around the halls of McKinley.

But wait! I forgot that he does have one friend at McKinley, and Trouty Mouth was there to remind us and save the day. In by far the most awesome pairing of all, Trouty Mouth had a heart-to-heart with Blaine and it was revealed that Blaine "hooked up" (that's a vague term used to refer to "had sex") with a Facebook rando! But Sam was there to de-villainize him and sing a dreamy duet while performing random community service and having a paint fight. This was meant to remind Blaine that he has more at McKinley than just Kurt, and it was adorable and awesome and made Blaine ultimately reject the Warblers.  Wooo! Victory!

Overall Grade for the Episode: B+

It was cute and funny, but if you're gonna make a Blaine episode it needs to be heavier on the Blaine. And it's just criminal how underused Artie is. But solid episode, and gotta love ze Warblaz.

Favorite Performance of the Episode: Some Nights performed by the New Directions. I love Ryder, Blaine and Jake and Loving him is RED. Marley did a fine job on the high notes but I wish those were sung by a boy ahem BLAINE WARBLER!! Also the spoken word portion brought to us by Teen Jesus was HILARIOUS STUFF.

Least Favorite Performance of the Episode: Holding out for a Hero featuring Marley and Kitty. Marley can't dance, and "why was the whip even brought out"- Pat

Favorite Moment of the Episode Everything Sam did. Sam running away from Dalton in slow motion, Sam doing the Bane impression with a jock strap over his mouth, and Sam just being Sam.

Least Favorite Moment(s): The meant to be racial jokes against Jake... because they were so lame and not offensive enough to sting. Culture cappucino ooooohhhhh good one.
Also that cafeteria scene. Come on mom revealing your daughter's secrets!!!! And those football players would have stomped the New Directions out fsho.

Other Thoughts

-Unique missed a whole week of school
-Teen Jesus get outta here
-Poor Artie getting no lines, he barely made it in the club

-Tina is gonna flip out and shoot up the school if yall dont be careful

-"Worse than Funk or Night of Neglect?!?!?!?" Ok Night of Neglect was stupid solely because of the Gwyneth aspect of it but Funk was GENIUS!!! Need I remind you of the Unwed Mothership Connection and Good Vibrations??
-Old girls (Brittany, Sugar, Tina, etc) getting no love

-Artie and Sugar kiss during the painting scene??? Reeeeeeeeee!

-Punkin

-Maggie, I see that blonde warbler in my nightmares

Glist

1. Trouty Mouth

2. Ryder

3. Blaine

4. Jake- is the hawtest

5. Sugar - my power is Money

6. Puck

7. Artie

8. Blurred out facebook face who got to do it with Blaine- you go Glen Coco!

9. Sebastian

10. Becky

Next Week's Episode

I see a Kidz Bop Gangham Style performance in our future. RETURN OF QUINNY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBG0_4ngck8&feature=player_embedded