Just when I thought I was done with blogging about Glee...
I dedicate this week's #WCW to myself for writing this blog despite a laundry list of things I need to do, but my fans are EVERYTHING to me so props to myself.
WEEK 6 AND EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT THAT MEANS!!! And by everyone I mean no one but my DWTS group text, but it's FAMOUS DANCES week! Not as catchy as one would like, but the premise was that each pro and star re-created an iconic dance that only musical/award-show lovers or GLEEKS would recognize.
GLEE the television show, ever heard of it? Well if you haven't then I don't know how you found yourself reading this blog. It turns out that Glee and Dancing with the Stars have similar taste in performance numbers (or it's more likely that Glee just did way too many) so we are going to play a little game of GLEE OR DWTS but the fun part is that no one gets to play but me and I always win.
I'm still waiting for someone to explain to me why Olivia Newton John was guest judge. For a dollar name a woman. Maybe it was Erin Andrews's job to explain ONJ's presence so she will let us know next week.
Lets go back, back to the beginning...
HAYES & EMMA
"You’re the one that I want" from Grease
32 out of 40 points
Obstacles to overcome: Channelling Scientologist and High Thetan John Travolta and learning the plot of Grease.
Highlight of the dance: Wait backwards roll into handstand?
Highlight of the dance: Wait backwards roll into handstand?
How I feel: The shocking realization that there is a human on this earth who hasn't seen GREASE really threw me off my game.
Judges comments: Olivia newton called him a Baby John???? Don’t wish that on him. BRUNO SAID SPLICE THE BEAT YASSSSS SPLIT THE ATOM
How it compared to the Glee performance: I mean come on this isn't even fair. Every cast member was in this number, FLASHBACK effect to season 1 when Finn and Rachel first met. One point for Glee.
Andy and Allison
"Good morning" from Singing in the Rain
40 out of 40 points
Obstacles to overcome: Andy trying to outdance Gene Kelly, Allison's feet might be swelling, etc.
Highlight of the dance: So many props!!! I've never seen Singing in the Rain (wooops not very qualified to write this blog right) so I thought the whole thing was so fetch.
Highlight of the dance: So many props!!! I've never seen Singing in the Rain (wooops not very qualified to write this blog right) so I thought the whole thing was so fetch.
How I feel: GO ANDY!!! Never thought he had it in him.
Judges comments: Perfect scores so you can imagine.
How it compared to the Glee performance: This was when Glee was going through its "Gwyneth" phase which was none too pleasing to this blogger. And a duet with Mr. Shue? Mr. Shue is the Mark Ballas of Glee. One for DWTS.
Alexa and Mark
"I'm a Slave for you VMA Performance" by the Legendary Britney Spears
30 out of 40 points
Obstacles to overcome: So many. Alexa hates Mark. Mark looked like Ernie Morton. There was a snake brought out for no reason. What's practical what's logical? What the hell who cares?
Highlight of the dance: Back-up dancers SLAAAAYYYYYYED.
How I feel: How dare you damage Britney's legacy more than she already has?
Judges comments: Julianne scolded Alexa for disrespecting a dance created during the "Height of Britney" #knowyourhistory
How it compared to the Glee performance: I mean.... Brittany S. Pierce vs. Alexa. Glee's got this one.
Derek and Bindi
"I've had the time of my life" from Dirty Dancing
40 out of 40 points
Obstacles to overcome: THE LIFT! Derek has never been more nervous in all of his DWTS seasons! Lol @ Derek trying to convince us that he is Hercules after Pain and Panic took his strength lololol Derek why you always lying
Highlight of the dance: THE LIFT! Derek Hough was not going to let that lift fail he locked his arms out and held her for 25- 100 seconds.
Highlight of the dance: THE LIFT! Derek Hough was not going to let that lift fail he locked his arms out and held her for 25- 100 seconds.
How I feel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctp4vYcfjBM
Judges comments: My little star has gone supernova!!!!
How it compared to the Glee performance: Even Quinn and Trouty Mouth's beautiful young love cannot compete with Derek Hough: The living and breathing Glee episode.
And with that Derek gets 2 perfect
scores 2 weeks in a row with 2 different partners
Paula and Louis
"Vogue VMA Performance" by Madonna
24 out of 40 points
Obstacles to overcome: Paula's general poor dancing ability and lack of filter.
Highlight of the dance: Not even a question those hot pants were strategic and they worked.
Highlight of the dance: Not even a question those hot pants were strategic and they worked.
How I feel: Where did they get all of these fabulous gay dancers?
Judges comments: Tip-toed around the fact that they knew Paula was finished in this town
How it compared to the Glee performance: UGHHHHH COME ON THE POWER OF MADONNA SEASON 1 EPISODE when Kurt and Mercedes helped Sue overcome her insecurity about her short hair and really anything is better than Paula. GLEE!
Carlos and Witney
"Pony" by Ginuwine from Magic Mike which is apparently a "famous dance" now
38 out of 40 points
Obstacles to overcome: Carlos is afraid of unholy thrusting in other words he doesn't want to lose all of the Jesus fans that he just won over
Highlight of the dance: EVERYTHING. You can't go wrong with this choreography.
Highlight of the dance: EVERYTHING. You can't go wrong with this choreography.
How I feel: I died somewhere near the beginning https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgAvehEDHYY Witney's hair I need those extensions for Halloween.
Judges comments: "I think maybe you missed your calling." #somebodycomegethim
How it compared to the Glee performance: Seeing as DWTS and Glee Historian Maggie had to remind that Pony was even performed on Glee, DWTS wins this round.
Nick and Sharna
"You Should be Dancing" from Saturday Night Fever
39 out of 40
Obstacles to overcome: YET ANOTHER JOHN TRAVOLTA REFERENCE where is Adele Nazim I want justice. Straight out of Leah (Scientology deserter, suppressive person) Remini's mouth: I THINK YOU DID JOHN TRAVOLTA PROUD DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF LEAH REMINI THEY WILL SNATCH YOU WHILE YOU ARE LIVE ON THE AIR!
Highlight of the dance: Nick Carter Knee Drops, Not once, not twice but THREE TIMES
Highlight of the dance: Nick Carter Knee Drops, Not once, not twice but THREE TIMES
How I feel: Hearing Sharna say SAMBA like a hillbilly over and over really threw off my groove and I think Nick did well but he is getting out-danced and it's scaring me. John Travolta just has me in a scared head space right now.
Judges comments: Can't remember. I started online shopping. Good scores though!
How it compared to the Glee performance: Despite the Blaine toe touch (below) that I'm sure I mentioned in that week's blog, I'll give it to Nick and his knee drops.
Alek and Lindsay
"Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis
30 out of 40 points
Obstacles to overcome: The classic boring pro + boring star dilemma
Highlight of the dance: Did not watch this closely enough to have a highlight...my eyes were crossing out of boredom.
Highlight of the dance: Did not watch this closely enough to have a highlight...my eyes were crossing out of boredom.
How I feel: Elvis never went to jail let's be real
Judges comments: Carrie Ann Wants Alek to take private lessons from Artem a la me and Marky Mark back in 2011. Me and Maggie just ranted about how boring Artem is so Carrie Ann I disagree.
How it compared to the Glee performance: Glee never did Jailhouse Rock but look at this body roll though
Tamar and Val 40/40
"Rhythm Nation" by Janet Jackson
Obstacles to overcome: Tamar's bitterness! She was mad because the judges correctly assessed her horrible switch-up week performance with Louis. And she was sick.
Highlight of the dance: PONYTAIL. All of it really.
Highlight of the dance: PONYTAIL. All of it really.
How I feel: Didn't think it was perfect but she gave us Janet!
Judges comments: Tamar had them shaking in their boots!
How it compared to the Glee performance: This Glee performance came about in a time when even the Glee writers stopped caring about what the songs had to do with the plot. Young Puckerman killed it but did not come strong with the ponytail game. DWTS & another one.
Couples Ranking:
Derek and Bindi 40/40****
Tamar and Val 40/40**
Andy and Allison
Nick and Sharna**
Carlos and Witney
Hayes and Emma 32/40
Alexa and Mark 30/40
Alek and Lindsay 30/40
Paula and Louis 24/40
All of a sudden the bad people getting eliminated makes it harder for me to be funny... "that was good lol..that was also good haha ...lmao another good one...
But Paula is out and acted like she was glad she got eliminated GOOD RIDDANCE I hope you had the time of your life
OUTSTANDING QUESTIONS:
- What does "Julianne doing Grease" mean? So confusing
- Can I get a replay of Paula falling backwards during dress rehearsal
- Not a question but Keo in Hammer pants and Karina doing Flashdance was beyond
- Is Emma is becoming my favorite pro?
- Derek has been training himself on speed and agility his whole dancing career and I have just been worried about pizazz and hairography where did I go wrong
- Derek has been training himself on speed and agility his whole dancing career and I have just been worried about pizazz and hairography where did I go wrong
The bar is so high...
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