There's Nothing Wrong with Anything! (Most Memorable Year, Week 4)

A wise woman once said, the definition of perseverance is cutting your dominant typing finger open with a potato peeler and blogging the next day. 

And here I am! Jesus take the keyboard. 

You've probably heard around town that this Glee-turned-DWTS blog is really picking up steam by averaging a whopping 10-11 views per week! Unfortunately that alone will not motivate me to proof-read my writing so deal with it or you're not a true fan. 

Most Memorable Year baby!! This is the week when we learn about each star's rise to fame and/or watch them scramble to find something sympathetic about their upbringing to get votes and tears. This year did not disappoint and away...we...go!

Tom Bergeron aka the Ryan Seacrest of ABC aka the white Oprah aka Ellen's brother aka Chris Harrison's Uncle was out this week to be with his sick dad :-( so we got Alfonso aka Carlton aka Alfonso as guest host instead! He is so short along side Erin Andrews who in the words of @so_grool "literally looks like a shark attack."

DWTS is life-changing. Alfonso thought his career in showbiz was over! And now look at him go! 

Let's get to the recap. The judges may have "ignored the packages to focus on the dance" but let's be honest it was all about the packages this week!!! I'll let celebrity twins Ashley I and Rachel Berry tell the rest of the story. 

THE HEART OF THE DANCES: 

Alexa and Mark (21/30) 

Most Memorable Year: Alexa's most memorable year was 2000 when she booked 

Spy Kids. Not biting the hand that feeds her.  Sweet story about her mom raising her family but, after seeing all of Mom's "Dental Work" Alexa has paid for I think they can call it even. 

The Dance: Bruno's comment was, "you had everything except the serial killer" but Gary was still there lurking around so they had it all. She blacked out and Mark was not happy. 

Crying with the Stars Scale: They put her first for a reason. 

Gary and Anna (16/30) 

Most Memorable Year: Gary's most memorable year was 1979, when he was cast in his first big role playing Buddy Holly. Also there was some mention about the motorcycle crash that caused his brain damage which explains so much. 

The Dance: We almost lost Anna. Literally. His dancing is a hazard to himself and others. And he does not think the judges should judge him because he doesn't judge their judging! 

Crying with the Stars Scale: See below. 

Tamar and Val (27/30) 

Most Memorable Year: Tamar's most memorable year was 2012, when her husband got really sick and they decided to have a child. 

The Dance: Original song alert! Her husband played the piano! Rumba! The passion! Val crushed it. If she is going to make it to the top she needs to stop with the crazy eyes, but we have a few weeks to work on that. 

Crying with the Stars scale: It was a lot. 

********Pardon the interruption but Derek and Val hugged in the background.*******

********Sorry for the delay but Sasha and Brittany literally fell.*******

Ok back to business. 

Hayes and Emma (27/30) 

Most Memorable Year: 2015? (I forgot it was some recent year.) Ok getting more of Hayes backstory. Apparently he is only 15 and it feels so wrong. He is also shy and his brother is the one who wanted to be famous! And he went on tour? What exactly is his talent? Did he make vines on stage? Here is a clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oD831Tq_KnQ. I'm so confused is Hayes literally just the "camera phone man?" And oh yeah Shawn Mendez is his best friend! 

The Dance: WHAT JUST HAPPENED. My reaction was exactly that of Carrie Ann and Julianne, utter confusion and shock. The lifts, body rolls, choreography. Hayes for the win. 

Crying with the Stars scale:  I mean... just lock me up. 

Alek and Lindsay (24/30) 

Most Memorable Year: Alek's most memorable year was obviously 2015, when he and his friends stopped a gunman on a train. I love the recounting of the incident from his friend, "And then Alek said, go get em!" If stopping a terrorist wasn't heavy enough, Alek's school is the one in Oregon that had the mass shooting last week, so unbelievably sad and scary.

The Dance: Not good at all. “He looks like Dr. Evil”- @so_grool. Glad the judges kept it real despite the rough week he'd had. 

Crying with the Stars scale: This guy can't catch a break can he 

Nick and Sharna (27/30) 

Most Memorable Year: BRACE YOURSELF. 1992 MFERS!!!!!!!! THE YEAR IT ALL BEGAN!!! Nick became a Backstreet Boy and was able to escape his parents who he shades in every interview. AJ FREAKING MCLEAN came to town DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION. Nick broke down in the pre-interview package and you just want to hug him. 

The Dance: Ok, so my only issue is that Backstreet's Back was so many hits after their beginning, they could have hit us with a early BSB favorite like We'Ve Got it Goin On or Quit Playing Games but I understand the crowd appeal of Backstreet's Back. They said this maybe 14 times but Sharna was living my dream and your dream and it was just overwhelmingly satisfying to see Nick Carter doing original BSB choreo on a stage with 

his brother AJ Mclean cheering him on. 

Crying with the Stars scale: Verklempt. 

:::::PAUSE::::::

WHY/HOW DID THIS PICTURE HAPPEN? 

Are you aware there are 4 boy bands represented in this photo??? Is there a boy band support group we don't know about? Lou Pearlman is rotting in a cell crying his eyes out practicing old choreography.  

Carlos and Witney (25/30) 

Most Memorable Year: There's always one. A reach for a sob story. This year it was Carlos, who "hit rock bottom" by smoking weed in his house all day after his boy band stopped being popular.  Then went to church and found God and Alexa. Mazel. 

The Dance: Amazing Grace. Witney made it very pretty. 

Crying with the Stars scale: Ehhhhhhhh

Bonus Ashley: 

(Ashley S. gets me every single time) 

Paula and Louie (18/30) 

Most Memorable Year: Paula's most memorable year was 1989 when she had enough and took that ring off! And Taylor Swift was born! And I was one year old. A lot happened that year. Kind of a sweet package about starting her business but I can't get over the racist thing with her. So no. 

The Dance: She actually looked okay at moments! She has those 

strong old lady legs that we see from time to time in the ballroom. There was an unfortunate lift mishap though... Louie's life flashed before his eyes. And she has no manners! BYE!!!!!

Crying with the Stars scale: 

Andy and Allison (23/30) 

Most Memorable Year: Forgot the year again! Woops. But it was the year his mom passed away, and he used the pain to write one of the greatest songs ever, Keep Your Head Up. This song gets me through it daily. 
The Dance: Yikes. He danced to his new song, "Good to be Alive." Really bad dancing. But Allison is pregnant! So that's the positive spin for this week. 

Crying with the Stars scale: The pic of Andy and his bro at their mom's funeral had me like...

Bindy and Derek (28/30) 

Most Memorable Year: Bindi's most memorable year was the year that her Dad, the Crocodile Hunter passed away. Jesus. I started crying when they showed "Coming up next" clip. Bindi is amazing and sweet and positive and her moments of crying into Derek's arms and then the camera woman was crying too!!! Bindi changes my life every week I already have a halloween costume but I might have to change it and be Bindi and then just decide to pretend to be her every day for the rest of my life. 

The Dance:  STOP THE MUSIC THIS IS TOO MUCH. Perfect choreography of course because Derek. When you put Derek with anyone with a good story it's going to bring the house down and it did. Bindi did great. Did I mention this was a good dance?? 

Crying with the Stars scale: All of the following: 

Couples Scores Ranking

**I love em 

Bindi and Derek- 28***

Tamar and Val- 27***

Nick and Sharna- 27**

Hayes and Emma- 27**

Carlos and Witney-25 

Alek and Lindsay- 24 

Andy and Allison- 23

Alexa and Mark- 21(better than Alek and Andy though in real life) 

Paula and Louis - 18

Gary and Anna- 16 

ELIMINATION!!! 

GARY AND ANNA GO HOME BUT ACCORDING TO GARY HIS GHOST WILL BE BACK TO HAUNT US FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON. Did he just shush Alfonso? Blatant disrespect. 

Lingering Questions:  

1. Should I be watching scream queens?

2. Now that Gary is gone how will I come up with the titles of my blogs?

3. Did the Backstreet Boys ever give Howie more lead vocals? 

4. Where is Keo? 

5. Julianne, my question to you is why are you the way that you are?

Best Quotes from the Group Chat: 

- "It's been 10 minutes and I've cried like 3 times"

- "I could actually tolerate Gary one more week if it means I don't have to see whatever Paula just did again."

- "I never cry and that brought tears to my eyes" - Ice Queen BT

Next week: