Thank Glee Later: Turkey in the Straw and I don't curr

Wait, I’m confused..why is Rachel blogging about Glee even though there was no new episode this week?

In the spirit of Thanksgiving I am giving back to all of my many fans and readers by supplying you with some freestyle blogging. Am I being too thirsty? Think I'm weird? My response to your judgment:  anyone who reads this blog knows that I’m extremely weyud and you still are reading this now so everyone can suck it! Legggo

Before we move on to next week’s episode, let’s reflect on the main characters’ transformations from season 1 thus far and where I hope they go this season:

Rachel Berry

Everyone still hates her, she has bangs now and is even skinnier. Still ambitious but doesn’t get as many solos in Glee Club which is a crime against humanity. Finally got her man (Finn) and is smitten. Season 3 hopes: She gets into NYADA with Kurt and must leave Finn behind because she is going to marry Ryan Gosling later. Song suggestions: “Speechless” (Gaga) “Glitter in the Air” (Pink), "I WAS HERE" (Beyonce) SHOUT OUT TO KATE SOUTHALL. tm

Finn

Finn is STILL deciding whether to be a “born-leader” or insecure frankenteen. LovingRachel337 and trying to figure out his future. Has something against Blaine and keeps getting pwned by Santana. Season 3 hopes: I weirdly want him to get back with Quinn even though I hate them together. I must be tired. Song suggestions: "My Girl" "Hey There Delilah" "I only wanna be with you" (Hootie)

Kurt

Figured out he was gay, and is now super confident and dating the most perfect human in existence. BFF’s with Rache again and doesn’t seem like he even speaks to Mercedes. Trying to get into NYADA. Season 3 Hopes: Become President, gets into NYADA and has a flawless relationship with Blaine. Song suggestions: Superbass. hahahaha
Happy Birthday Tony!

Blaine

Transferred to McKinley. About to be the star of New Directions. Season 3 hopes: Becomes the star of New Directions. Song suggestions: “Moves Like Jagger” with Santana, “I want it that way” or “It’s Gonna be Me” or any Nsync, BSB, 98 Degrees song. LFO, too.

Santana

Getting much more screen time than Season 1, now has fully committed to being Lebanese and her love for best friend Brittany, and is head cheerleader with Becky now that Quinny has gone rogue. Quit New Directions and joined the Troubletones. Has become more hateful somehow. Season 3 hopes: She gets over Brittany and likes some better (nevermind I’ll find someone like you) and becomes BFF’s with Quinn. Song Suggestions: “Since You’ve Been Gone”,  “You Oughta Know” “Almost Lover”

Quinn

The biggest turnaround from Season 1, has lost her damn mind, cut her hair and gone evil. Trying to get baby Beth back and pretending to be nice. Or is she? Season 3 hopes: Puck or Santana or Sam helps her truly see the errors of her way, she cleans up her act, rejoins the Cheerios, rocks a high pony and dates either Puck or Sam. Song suggestions:  “There are worse things I could do”, “Never Grow Up” (to Beth) “Not like the Movies.” Sade’s “By your side”

Puck

Still loving Moms. Is a good dad and has ditched his bad boy attitude for a happy-go-lucky showtune singing fool swag. Stock is definitely up. Season 3 hopes: He has both Shelbers and Quinn fall in love with him and gets into college. Song Suggestions: “Details in the Fabric” to Quinn, "Let's Get it On"

Sam

About to come back to apparently court Mercedes. Season 3 Hopes: Dates Quinn. Song Suggestions: “Daughters” (About Quinn), "I'm Yours"

Mercedes

STILL has not gotten over her Rachel Berry complex. In the Troubletones and dating Shane who is going to play college football “Cha-Ching!”. Season 3 Hopes: She makes up with Rachel and rejoins New Directions. Song Suggestions: If I ain’t got you/I have Nothing” Mashup “Call Tyrone”

Artie

Gets no love. Still in a wheelchair. Song Suggestions: “Sexy and I know it” and “Use Somebody”. (“I’ve been rolling around…")

Brittany

Mind of a 4year old and body of a pilates instructor. Dumped Artie to kinda date Santana. Season 3 Hopes: She dances a lot. Song Suggestions: Leave the singing to the pros.

Sue, Tina, Mike Chang, Rory, Mr. Shue, Emma, Beiste- keep swaying in the background where we like you!

Top 8- Fave Season 3 Performances so far

8. We got the Beat performed by the New Directions. Return of the New Directions-cafeteria-style. Great features of Rachel and Brittany. Brittana’s cheer uniforms are so great. Mike slapped his own butt. They had so much heart even though everyone looked disgusted with them. I watch this performance often! B  
(Episode 1-The Purple Piano Project)

7.  It’s not unusual performed by Blaine. If Blaine singing Carlton Bank’s anthem wasn’t boss enough, the Cheerio’s came and set it off. Little did we know Santana’s perfect performance in Blaine would lead to her being kicked out of the New Directions for 5 minutes. B+

 (Episode 1-The Purple Piano Project)

6. America performed by Santana, Puck and Tina Cohen Chang the Vampire. Santana is TO DIE FOR. PwwwairtoRrrrico. Better get rid of your ahhxscent. Love group numbers- would have liked to see more Mike Chang dancing. A- 
(Episode 5-The First Time)

5. I’m the Greatest Star performed by Kurt. You climb up on that metal thing and spin those weird claw baton things! Stick around for the jokes. Must I reiterate everything’s coming up Kurt! A-

(Episode 2- I Am Unicorn)

4. Uptown Girl performed by The Warblers. Sebastian. Do I need to go on? A

(Episode 5-The First Time)

3. It’s all over performed by the New Directions feat. Mercedes. Now you watch your mouth, watch your mouth Ms. Effie White. Well they didn’t say that line but anytime you get Mr. Shue, Kurt, Puck, Finn, Chang and Santana yelling at Mercedes via song- ba da ba ba ba I’m loving it. A

(Episode 3- Asian F)

2. Rumour Has It/Someone Like You performed by the Trouble Tones. I realize I put this ahead of the ND Mashup as my favorite performance of the episode last week, but that was because I had watched the Adele mashup like 20 times before the episode aired thus making me feel like I was obsessed with it. Turns out I became obsessed with the number one pick more… A+

 (Episode 6-Mash Off)

1. I Can’t Go For That/You Make my Dreams Come True performed by the New Directions. Didn’t appreciate it’s full excellence until I watched it 40 times. The outfits, the hair and mustaches. Finn dancing like a freak. Quinn solo. Puck's point to Shelby. Shelby and Santana's looks of disgust. Gleeeeeful. A+

(Episode 6 -Mash Off) 

Now that I have spent 2-3 hours writing this blog, I realize that I have become even more of a weirdo than before. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? Happy Thanksgiving Gleeotches.