Although I thought the episode started slow, before I knew it we had zipped through 5 major storylines in no time! Here are the storylines ranked in importance from greatest to least (in my opinion)
1. Shelby/Puck/Quinn
2. Santana
3. Student Election
4. Coach Beiste Love Triangle
5. Real-life Election
That being said, I will give 1-2 sentences on items 3-5.
Student Election. Brittany Sucks, Kurt Rules- RACHEL IS AN IDIOT for not counting the number of seniors at McKinley. If you're going to rig an election- do your research! Now I have to watch a sectionals performance without your brilliance??? Next time, think of how your actions might affect others, RB.
Coach Beiste Love Triangle. Cooter the Recruiter has weird taste in women. Jolene JOOOOLLLLEEEEENNNE. (CLAASSSIC parton)
Real-Life Election. HOORAY Baboon Heart. That's all I got.
Onto more important issues facing this episode:
With things taking an even more scandalous turn, I wish that the focal point of the episode would have been the Shelby/Puck/Quinn storyline. As someone who has been on the Puck/Quinn relationship train since Season 1, I was super hype when Puck delivered this zinger to Quinny Poo:
"Look, I was into you a couple years ago because you were hot like a pixie and I thought you were pretty much cooler than every other girl in the school, but it turns out you're kind of nuts. You're higher maintenance than Berry and pretty much the most selfish person I ever met in my life. So, thanks for the offer but I'd rather raw-dog a beehive."
I think he expressed what we were all feeling, that Quinn used to be the shit and now has disgusted even her biggest fans (me.) What a dumb whore trying to have unprotected sex in order to get pregnant again! Cuz that worked out so well for you the first time, idiot. Little did Quinn know, Puck's rejection had less to do with her being a psycho and more with him trying to hump Shelby. WHICH HE DID. Holy smokes.
And here is where I get confused. So Shelby calls Puck to the hospital, he saves the day, and they bang. Ok, fine. Then she kicks him out right after. From the looks of it, they had sex during the day, which means she wasn't drunk AND the lights were on. And then she regrets it right after? Doesn't work that way. It's like kissing someone sober- that shit's REAL! So Puck stood up for himself like I wish half of the girls at McKinley would do (come on Rachel, Coach Beiste you can't just come running back!) and left Ms. Corcoran's bed to have angry sex with Quinn.
Then comes what I think is a very important conversation between Quinn and Puck, when he acknowledges that he took part in screwing her up, and that she has issues and needs help. (Nice job calling out the Glee Club who seem to have forgotten about her Skank days) And I think that she acknowledges it too, which I HOPE is a turning point for Quinn. But of course Puck has to make the biggest mistake of the episode (yes, bigger than Rachel miscalculating her ballot stuffing) and told Quinn about banging Shelby. OH MY LORD. I can only imagine what she will do with this (and judging by her evil glare- she might actually murder Shelby). One last observation, does Shelby's performance in the last song mean that she loves Puck? WHAT IS GOING ON.
My take on the Santana portion of tonight's episode:
I'm never a fan of episodes where most of the performances are done as "choir-room performances" and I thought the idea of making her come out to the New Directions through Lady to Lady song tributes was weird. (Finn grasping for straws to remain the leader, but at least he is taking a stand against suicide?) I'm also confused; are Santana and Brittany actually dating, or better question, does Brittany know that they are dating? I'm glad Santana and Finn are friends now, but I did feel kind of uncomfortable with all of his proclamations of love and his acknowledgment of her taking his V card. Rachel- you gonna check him? His "Girls Just wanna have fun" was great. I cried, of course. Also her scene with her Abuela was unintentionally funny with all of the spanish 1 phrases. Escuchame. Por Favor. Rice and Beans on her plate. Overall, it was done well and I guess she is embracing the Lebanese within? Go girl.
Since I loved all of the performances tonight- Instead of picking a favorite and least-favorite I will rank them! heck ya
#6 Jolene performed by Coach Beiste. I love this song and although Beiste didn't sing it particularly well, I thought it was super great!
#5 Girls just want to have fun performed by Finn- took me a minute to realize what the song was. It was kind of creepy the way Finn sat in the chair backwards, all up in Satana's face. But once the boys chimed in with background vocals I was crying. Go Finn.
#4 Perfect performed by Blurt. So adorable. Blaine is perfect. I think I've said that 4 weeks in a row.
#3 I kissed a girl- Perfection. Rachel and Satan on lead. They should duet more often! Much better than the original and it seemed like they were all friends again. Aw.
#2 I'm the only one performed by Puck- PUCKERMANNNNN. singing an already fantastic song, looking like a lunatic singing to Shelby who can't decide what kind of facial expression to wear, while Quinn and Rachel looks confused as all hell.
#1 Constant Craving- Santana + Shelby. And then a little bit of Kurt. No words. I cried.
Favorite moment of the episode: (Since I already mentioned Puck pwning Quinn) When Beiste ordered all of that chicken at Breadsticks.
Least favorite moment of the episode: Brittany becoming President and announcing that Kurt was still a unicorn! What does that even mean???? Stop.
Other random thoughts:
Loved Kurt and Blaine's support of each other
Sugar Motta is becoming a hilarious backgrounder
Mr. Shue is still oblivious to everything going on around him
Quinn looked mad tall this episode. Has she grown or is she wearing heels?
How will these clubs be able to compete at Sectionals? Don't you have to have 12 members?
Coach Beiste eating chicken stuffed in turkey stuffed in ham. Gotta keep your energy up to count ballots.
Puck's Mohawk needs a tune up
Next Week:
RETURN OF TROUTY MOUTH And he is a stripper. ANNNND SECTIONALS. So excited!
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