I know my millions of readers have been waiting patiently for my in-depth analysis of last night's Mash-Off episode, so wait no longer! Here tis!
First issue we will tackle is the "Hot For Teacher" plot featuring Noah Puckerman and "Ms. C". First I would like to address that Blaine and Mike Chang sword fought with mic stands and then did a toe -touch. Now I would like to give you 10 reasons why I think Puck and Shelby or "Porkoran" should be together.
1. Shelby is looking extra bangin and worthy of the sex shark that is Puck.
2. Quinn can suck it.
3. This is scandalous and I LOVE IT!
4. I hate baby talk more than anything, and Puck's baby talk wasn't even annoying!
5. Puck's race through the hallways to be at two different lockers was adorable.
6. I'd like a Porkoran duet.
7. Is Shelby Jewish? Cuz if so- then there's that.
8. I'm hot.
9. You're hot.
10. Beth needs a dad.
Also in response to a text I received from Allison Perri Newman saying "I'm just nowhere near attracted to [Puck] anymore," I would say I agree- I'm more of a Finn/Sebastian luster now BUT Puck is becoming one of my favorite characters each week. Just over the moon with this situation. And again, Quinn can suck it. The only good thing she has done this whole season was being ridiculously cute during tonight's mash-up. More on that later.
We have now arrived to the political portion of our program! Brit, Kurt, Rachel and Rick the Dick gave their speeches in the McKinley High Presidential Race. Brit promised to eliminate three things: tornadoes, shirts on tuesdays, and uhhhhh what's the third thing? I can't... Oops. Rachel decided to drop out of the race. Good for her? Whatever, Kurt got to be Prom Queen- that's a resume booster right? But I'm glad they are friends again. Clearly, Kurt is the best candidate (not much competition) however he maybe should have focused on the anti-bullying crusade instead of outlawing the greatest game that a Ben Stiller movie was based on! Is Dodgeball really that prolific at Mckinley that he can base his whole campaign on it?
Speaking of Dodgeball, what a great way to solve your differences. (Kinda being sarcastic- kinda not). In real life- New Directions would have crushed the Trouble Tones, but for fictional purposes I will go along with the outcome and blame it on Artie wheeling around in everyone's way. Also would just like to point out that I saw a lot of people getting hit but no one standing out on the sidelines. Play by the rules much? And poor Rory! Santana is the worst this episode.
Which brings us to the clash of titans: Satan and Finn and the "Mash offs" between the two groups. Santana, who is clearly taking out her bottled up feelings out on Finn, was out of control tonight. Also, Finn's insult about her being JLo with a flat ass or whatever was great- if I ever received that "insult" I would be the happiest girl in America! After Santana was straight up evil to Finn, I didn't blame him for hitting her where it hurt (basically outing her to the school) but that was a low blow. Even Kurt didn't out Karofsky after he threatened to kill him. But it is what it is and it all came to a head during the competition...
I would like to say that I absolutely lovvvvved the New Directions Hall and Oates mash up. It was cute, hilarious, sounded great, featured Finn, Quinn, Tina and Rory, had the greatest hair I've ever seen and was so fun. But clearly the Adele mashup was one of the best songs Glee has ever done. Need I say more? Holy crap. Oh and then Santana slapped Finn. I was like whoa. I feel bad for her but damn bitch! I hope she gets at least some ISS for that.
Again, don't care about Sue and Burt.
Favorite Performance of the Week:
Rumour Has it/Someone Like You- it was so much better than I expected- Santana just sounds so damn good, and the mashup was perfect.
Least Favorite Performance:
One Way or Another/Hit me with your best shot- I didn't hate it but I didn't love it. I did love the no-hands cartwheels though.
Favorite Moment of the Week:
Ms. Corcoran finding out the truth about Quinny and telling her where to shove it.
Least Favorite Moment of the Week:
Mr. Shue and Emma in bed while she was wearing that ridiculous yellow robe and trying to have a teaching moment.
Other Random Thoughts:
I really liked the "You and I" mash-up. Shelby is the bomb.
They are really trying to make the Rory thing work. Wamp.
What are the chances that NYATA will take two kids from the same school?
Sugar Motta's line:" I sound just like her" (Adele). Me too, girl.
New Directions needs to recruit some girls before sectionals. Zizes anyone?
Finn and Blaine have some awk tension. Blaine is about to get a solo soon I can feel it!
Mr. Shue is one of the most dramatic and animated grown men I've ever seen.
Next episode:
There's no Glee next week, but the next episode looks insane!!! Why are Puck and Quinn laying in bed together?????? Ahhhh! Can't Wait
Also just want to point out that I don't think it is very wise for Rachel to use a recommendation letter FROM HER MOM.
ReplyDeleteSeveral things:
ReplyDelete1) Reading this blog has easily replaced Selena/Biebs and online shopping as the high point of my existence.
2) Puck needs to do some major damage control on the mowhawk. It's obviously sexy but it's starting to look like a live animal or something.
3) Sue's smear campaign is so unrealistic that it's made that whole storyline obsolete and effing annoying.
4) Like Sue's storyline, Britney S. Pierce would absolutely be sent to a special needs school by now. I mean tornadoes? I could barely handle the Leprechaun thing and Santa last year. As well as pretty much everything else that comes out of her mouth.
5) I want to spear Sugar Motta. Quinn too she's a bitch.
6) Where was Sebastian? Besides Blaine singing "Teenage Dream" he is the hottest gay man I have ever been attracted to. Should definitely be getting more screentime than the Leprechaun or whatever.
7) There is no way Artie would legally be able to play dodgeball. I mean he sits in a chair.