Every week I look forward so much to each new Glee episode, so much that I can’t sleep at night and am full of giddyness and joy while watching on my laptop. This week my heart just wasn’t in it, probably because I agree with my fictional counterpart, Rachel Berry: I just don’t get Michael Jackson. WHAT? GASP! SLAP! Well, it’s not that I don’t get Michael Jackson-it’s that I don’t like him. (The HORROR!)
Because most of the universe is obsessed with MJ, I thought about keeping this unpopular opinion to myself, but then I said screw it- this is a blog for God’s sake. MJ’s songs are some of the best of all time, and he is Beyonce’s inspiration so I can’t deny him as an incredible performer. Still, when Mr. Shue scribbled WWMJD on the white board, I couldn’t help but think: “creep on little boys.” When the Penn State scandal happened, I was so sick to my stomach. To be a victim of such a horrible crime and to feel that you can’t speak out because of the celebrity of your abuser must be devastating. And umm Sandusky was only the ASSISTANT COACH FOR A FOOTBALL TEAM. It seems to me that if the KING OF POP was abusing you it would be even more difficult to 1) speak out 2) get others to believe you.
MJ was acquitted of all charges. I’m sure the judge and jury had never seen Billie Jean or Beat it, either. Let’s remember that THERE WAS A VIDEO OF R. KELLY HAVING SEX WITH A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL AND HE WAS ALSO FOUND NOT GUILTY. Maybe I’m just cynical about this and a hater. Regardless, I think MJ was a sicko creep who preyed on little boys and got away with it because his fans are such apologists for his weirdness. His music is great, and I have no problem with Glee doing a tribute episode that features his brilliant songs, dance moves, and videos. But WWMJD? Not for me. Katt Williams, take it away: Katt on Michael Jackson
Was that too heavy, yall? Well the whole episode was too heavy!!! In an effort to squeeze in as many MJ songs as possible, we were left with some Debbie Downer overtones, beginning with the dangerous and deadly feud between two rival show choirs. DUN DUN DUN.
When the smokin’ Sebastian stole New Direction’s Michael idea, (Damn, Blaine- you’re talking to Sebastian on the phone? In the morning? That’s deep.) all hell broke loose AND IT WAS ON. New Directions decided to “take it to the streets” to be like Michael. Okay... because Michael Jackson was such a tough guy. But anyways, apparently Sebastian was trying to kill Kurt via SLUSHEE WARFARE until Blaine aka the most perfect human being ever saved him and was forced to miss out on Michael Jackson week AND wear an eye-patch. And was forced to be serenaded by Kurt and Finchel while wearing said eye patch. Well ARTIE HAD HAD ENOUGH!!! I’m sure this wasn’t just an excuse to get Artie up and dancing to re-create one the most expensive videos ever with Mike Chang. (If I wanted to watch the Scream video I would just youtube it, Ryan Murphy.)
So then Satana decided to dance seductively around in a conference room in a “battle” with Sebastian (seriously, they looked like they were about to make-out at any second) to another MJ hit. But ultimately New Directions decided to take the high road- to which I say BRAVA!!! As Kurt found out when he received his letter to the next round of NYADA admission, THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING WELL. So the New Directions and Warblers made up while singing about racial acceptance (huh) but Sebastian is still hating everyone and looking bitter. (Glee teaches us another life lesson.)
The beef wasn’t the only issue needing a resolution this week- Finn still needed an answer from Rachel. Sigh. Rachel, still uncertain about her future, decided that if she has Finn, it won’t hurt as bad if all of her other hopes and dreams crash and burn. Which is pretty much the reason why Finn wants to marry her as well, so at least they are on the same page. But this episode made it pretty clear that not even a revelation via MJ love song can completely sell Rachel on this idea. She needed advice from her new BFF, Quinn, who she knows will keep it one hunnid.
I’ve always loved Quinn, but I’ve never really related to her until this episode. First of all, congrats girl- you somehow got accepted into Yale in record time. And it turns out that Quinn got all of her crazy illogical thoughts out of her system, and now is giving some pretty profound and wise advice. Listen up young girls of the world: “I dated Puck, Finn and Sam and even loved some of them, but by the time the snow falls in New Haven next winter, I won’t know why. We hardly know what we’re going to want in 15 years.” PREACH. Our high school and even college glory days are hard to leave behind, but Quinn’s speech and performance shows that moving on and saying goodbye to all of the things that made her life so important before will just make her future even brighter. You have to keep moving forward or what’s the point of living? Many young girls are too scared to leave behind what makes them feel comfortable, and it is hard but what’s ahead and personal discovery is so much more rewarding than any high school boyfriend or cheerleading uniform. I still want her to get with Puck, but she is such an independent woman now! She “was the only one standing in the way of [herself]”, and this statement makes Rachel seem all nervous and uneasy, and it’s making me really nervous and uneasy.
The happiness of this episode came from two unlikely sources. 1. Who would have thought that it would come from Mercedes and Sam’s fake and wack romance? I’m trying to be more accepting of this mis-match duo but I still said “ew” aloud when they kissed. But that Human Nature duet was SO BANGIN. Also 2. Kurt and Rachel both moved on to the next round for NYADA. Happy days are here again! But what about Finn? The plot thickens...
Overall Grade for this Episode: B.
I prefer episodes that don't feature forced musical numbers. “Ben,” “Black and White” “Smooth Criminal” and “Just Can’t Stop Loving You” just seemed like Glee really wanted to do those numbers so quickly made up a 30 second segue into them.
Yall are going to hate me but…
Favorite Performance of the episode: “Never Can Say Goodbye” performed by Quinn. I am a sucker for Jackson 5 and she looked bangin and I like her little voice. And we got to relive all of her romances.
Also really enjoyed: “Wanna Be Startin Something” by Blaine <3 and “Human Nature” by Sam and Mercedes.
Least favorite Performance(s) of the episode: Ben/Smooth Criminal. Both Boring and unnecessary.
Best Michael Vocals: They all sounded SO GOOD doing Michael!!! Especially Blaine, Mercedes, Sam but of course Artie just killed every song he did so he is my winner.
Favorite Moments of the episode: 1. Quinn and Rachel’s girl talk and 2. When Kurt alluded to the eyepatch in the Black and White performance “when I saw you throwing dirt in my eye.” Love that kid.
Least Favorite Moment of the episode: Boring scene in Blaine’s room. Nina Mantilla “Why does he have a blanket on him like he is sickly with fever?” Good question.
Other Random Thoughts:
-Quinn’s picture of Finn and Rachel in her locker with a magnet over Rachel’s face- great.
-Your parents can just come into your class and get you out? In our day there was a loud speaker or an office aide to come fetch someone with a notarized slip!
-Love any Kurt/Burt moments- he was so excited about telling the news to his son’s boyfriend- I was a mess.
-I was happy when I found out there was some rock salt in that slushee cuz blaine got PRETTY dramatic
-Mercedes’ LOVE necklace… my god will the Jennifer Hudson references never end?
-When did Finn turn into such a needy pansy?
-Rachel’s hair has gotten long- looks great.
-Tina Cohen Chang gets no love and Rory might as well have gone back to Ireland. Scotland? I’m cool with it.
-Wish they would have sung Rock with you, Remember the Time, The way you make me feel
-I still say the best MJ performance they ever did was PYT.
*****I JUST REALIZED THAT SUGAR MOTTA WAS NOT IN THIS EPISODE!!!!! WHAT. IS. GOING. ON. Someone please explain.*********
Next Week’s episode:
Viva Ricky Martin! Did I hear a Spanish version of Sexy and I know it? All-spanish recap?
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I too, agree, that an entire episode dedicated to MJ was probably not the smartest choice. I love MJ's songs just as much as the next person, but I agree with everything you said. (I also don't watch the show anymore but reading your blog entertains me way too much to not read it)
ReplyDelete2 things:
ReplyDelete1. puck should have sang a solo.
2. puck saying "you're like a modern day eggs benedict" to blaine was great
confession. i have sat down to watch this episode three separate times and i still haven't finished it. kind of a snooze fest and i love michael. but i've come to realize i only like watching michael performing michael songs and dance moves. so this episode has been high on the songs, low on the dialogue and i'm gonna need some plot progression, some sugar motta (ps PLEASE watch stick it if you haven't seen it), some focus on tasks at hand (wedding plans and whatever competition is next) and a little less trying to make fetch happen. it's not going to happen.
ReplyDelete-a dev