The
theme of this week's blog is THINGS I DON'T GET ABOUT THIS
WORLD.
#1 I don't
get guilty pleasures.
I
JUST DON'T GET IT! I mean, I guess I get guilty pleasures in things like food.
Clearly you feel guilty after eating 5 cookies but it was pleasurable to do so.
And anything like shopping, drinking, BOMOing, etc. But I do not get
"Guilty Pleasure Songs." Music ain't never hurt nobody! Or made you
fat, or made you unhealthy, or made you broke. Why would you ever feel guilty
about liking a song? I'm trying to think if I have ever been embarrassed to
like a song or artist...I can't think of an example. I still sleep with a
Hannah Montana alarm clock and the first CD I ever owned was Sisqo. Do people find
that embarrassing, because I find it hilarious- thus why I do not get the theme
of Glee Club this week.
That
being said, I loved that the kids were free of Shue and Finn this week (Mr
Flu has the Shue and Finn went to college!??!?! Yeah he just registered in
March it makes perfect sense). The kids were probably all thinking "I am
so tired of these grown men crying over everything- let's inject Mr. Shue with
a strain of the flu and tell Finn that he got accepted into the South Harmon
Institute of Technology. Free at last!"
So
anyway, after Blaine discovered
Sam's macaroni art... yeah you read that right, Sam decided that revealing his guilty pleasure was such a bonding
experience that it would be beneficial for the whole Glee Club should do the
same. All the while Blaine is undressing Sam with his eyes (totally get that.)
This
leads me to my second mystery of life: I
do not get how the Glee writers let Chord Overstreet go for that period of time
in Season 3.
SAM
IS EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS SAM. He kicked off the musical numbers with a
BLAM BOW while everyone in the Glee Club danced around in front of black
lights. I am too young and uninterested to know why Wham! is a "guilty
pleasure". I honestly have no idea, but I do know that Jake and Marley's
ending pose was so fetch.
In
other Glee Club news, Brittany has
decided to return to school for a few days to tell Kitty that she needs to change her evil ways. She brings her on
Fondue for Two (always a great addition) to make her reveal her guilty pleasure
on-air. After Kitty reveals that she likes to fart around old people (OK THAT
IS DEFINITELY A GUILTY PLEASURE I GIVE YOU THAT, PSYCHO) and Brittany and Kitty
get in a Bring It On movie-off, Kitty Kat reveals that her real guilty pleasure
is liking the Spice Girls.
Two
problems with this again:
1.
BRING IT ON IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME. Could watch it every day of
my life. Burr it's cold in here I said there must be some Torros in the atmosphere? You really think a white girl made that
shit up?
2.
WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO HIDE THEIR
LOVE OF SPICE GIRLS? Why just this Tuesday, my good friend Patrisha and I
texted the following:
Pat: Even
Spice Girls will place higher on the list of best CDs of our lifetime. (this was in
reference to my comment that B2K Pandemonium was on that list... I have since
withdrawn that comment from the record)
Me: Which
Spice Girls
Me: That is
a fucking question for your ass
Pat: Spice.
First album
Pat: Wannabe
might be the #1 girl anthem
Pat: It
brings together all nations, creeds, colors, ethnicities
Me: Hold on
lemme look up the track lists
Me: God they
are both so good. Cuz then you have Spice Up Your Life, Stop, Too Much, Never
Give Up on the Good Times
Me: But I
agree Spice is better
Pat: It was
a close call and a toughie.
Point
being, we are completely normal. Also, I find it annoying when people don't
like popular music or artists just beacuse they are popular (Bieber),
ridiculous (Ke$ha) or fun (T-pain? Whatever). Sometimes they are popular for a
good reason, ever wanna investigate that?!!??! Just like what you like!
So yeah I'm happy they did the Spice Girls. For the record- Ginger was always the best and Kitty WERRRRKKKKED it out as Geri Halliwell! Marley did a great Posh and Brittany's stupid idiotic self did a great Sporty besides the part where Sporty was the best singer. Unique get ouutta here and most importantly SUGAR FREAKING MOTTA WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!? She would have been the best Baby Spice!! Sugar and Spice!?!? Damn you all.
Which
brings me to the most infuriating point of this episode and a little segment
that I like to refer to as "Marley is dead to me like the dog in that movie
that I never saw but I assume he dies in the end."
Ok
so Jake Puckerman wanted to do a Chris Brown song and the members of
Glee Club were all UP IN ARMS because they have all decided to join a cult
where they act self-righteous and hate on Breezy.
Ok
so number 1, you are telling me I
have to miss out on Jake performing a Chris Brown song... which would have been
flawless, amazing and perfect.
Number 2, and brace
yourself for the rant people, this is mostly directed at Ryan Murphy and
sometimes I am the most annoying. Jake was absolutely right, he is allowed to
separate the music from the person and like anyone he wants. And VALID freaking
point that there are other artists Glee has done who have not had the cleanest
track record. He mentioned, Whitney, Britney, and Rihanna but I'M SORRY YOU FAIL
TO MENTION MICHAEL JACKSON!!! OMG. I do not get that ever!
People
walk on egg shells when it comes to MJ and I don't get it. Why can't the earlier
statement be true "separate music from the person." Why is it so
blasphemous to know that Michael was amazing but also acknowledge that he
allegedly molested young children!! If I have to sit through an episode
dedicated to the man (Season 3: Michael) aren't we allowed to have 1 single Jake Puckerman/Chris Brown
interpretation? I get that Jacko was the greatest artist of all time, but if we
are arguing that his personal life shouldn't affect people's love of his music
then it should be fine put him on the TOP of the shady musician list the Glee
clubbers rambled off. Tippy Tippy Top. ESPECIALLY if you are then going to
throw out a completely ignorant statement like "You know Bobby Brown got
Whitney Houston hooked on crack!" Bobby Brown did not hold a gun to her
head and say "GET HOOKED ON CRACK OR ELSE!" Stop, Glee.
Number
3, I love Chris Brown's music more than almost every other artist and I wish
that Glee did a Chris Brown number. I fully acknowledge that Chris Brown (and
Rihanna for that matter) is an absolute lunatic. He was also 19 years old when
he beat up Rihanna. It is never okay that he did that, but for Glee to create a
whole plot line around the fact that it is wrong to forgive that man is beyond
me. And if you (Marley, Unique, etc) don't want to like Chris Brown music
because of what he did then more power to ya! But you shouldn't have any say
over what sweet beautiful Jake Puckerman likes or sings! I guess it is Ryan
Murphy's right to make a statement against Chris Brown if that's how he feels
but for once I will not kiss your feet oh powerful one! I hope BadGirlRiRi
blasts everyone on Instagram.
Also,
Marley is a baby bitch who likes Jessica Simpson.
Psycho
alert! (That's me!) I'm done.
Awkward
transition back to Blaine and Sam. Sam encouraged Blaine to reveal his TRUE
guilty pleasure, which would be Sam himself, so Blaine took to the piano to
give an absolutely FLAWLESS performance of "Take a Look at me Now".
Shout out to Phil Collins and all of those involved in recording the Tarzan soundtrack. Sam
knew the song was about him, and kind of did the same thing that Blaine did
with Tina by saying "Yeah, why wouldn't you be obsessed with me, but we
can still be friends." And they hugged it out. Verdict is still out on
whether Blaine is still obsessed.
Short NY
Update:
HEAVEN KNOWS
IF THEY'LL SURVIVE THIS SINGLE LADY KIND OF LIFE
Brody
broke up with Rachel without explanation, Kurt is wearing shorts and sleeping
with a man-size doll, and Santana is stirring it up. I cannot get over how much
I love this roomie dynamic! When Santana and Rachel pranked Kurt I was full of
GLEE! And didn't Kurt do such a great job looking tired??
So as we expected, Santana spilled the beans to Rachel about Brody being a Nick Cannon aka Gigolo. This led to Rachel confronting Brody and a lot of tears. (I wonder if this was what Lea Michele was referring to when she tweeted she had to cry a lot one day. I hope not, that wasn't enough crying for my taste.) After realizing that Brody was mostly a rebound and bounce pass, they broke up for good. I also don't get how anyone could still like Finn at this juncture, but okay. And then Rachel and Brody ran around and sang in slow motion.
Overall
Grade for the Episode: A-
Despite
Jake not sticking to his guns, I thought it was a really great and hilarious
episode!
Favorite
Performance of the Episode: Mamma Mia performed by Erbody. This was epic!! I hope this
inspires Rachel, Kurt and Santana to sing trios in their apt more often! And
the Glee Club was hilarious- it was fun, outfits were awesome, song was
awesome.
Other
Flawless Performances:
-My
Prerogative performed by Jake
-Take
a look at me now performed by Blaine
-Creep
performed by Rachel and Brody
Least
Favorite Performance of the Episode: CopaCabana performed by Sam and New Directions.
Just couldn't stop thinking about Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke so I couldn't
even get into it.
Favorite
Moment of the Episode: "This is who I am and I make no apologies" -Sam.
"Santana, you're a bitch, they're mine." -Kurt
Least
Favorite Moment of the Episode: The Chris Brown/Bobby Brown parts. Shuddddup.
Other
Thoughts:
-Where
is Tuiasosopo aka Ryder's fake girlfriend
-
I feel like Brittany and Kitty we really laughing about the Bring it On
references!
-Brit
doing kartwheels in a row for no reason #Classicpeg
-I
wish people would bring "Nunya" back
-Hummelcide
= Genius
-Rachel
looks amazing- thank God we are past that horrible slut phase!
-Is
Emma still taking off work?? People need to get into college!
Glist:
1.
Sam- taking the #1 and #2 spot because it is only right
2.
Sam
3.
Santana
4.
Rachel
5.
Jake
6.
Kurt
7.
Blaine
8.
Kitty Kat
9.
Ryder
-100.
Marley
Next Week's
Episode:
WE
HAVE TO WAIT 3 MORE WEEKS! I see Ryder with a blonde girl in the preview! I
will be at Nationals then so ain't nobody got time for Glee!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9xQ7Xxfcy8
American
Idol:
JIMMY
IOVINE IS THE REALNESS, SCREW EVERYONE ELSE. LAZARO MUST GO.
Favorites
List:
1.
Amber
2.
Burnell
3.
Angie
4.
Kree
5.
Candice
6.
Devin
7.
Janelle
8.
Lazaro this was a mistake
Thank
Heaven for Keith Urban.
One
more thing: Justin's new album is
FANFREAKINTASTIC.
BowDownBitches.
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