It's Chokin Time! Mastadon, Berrydactyl, Triceratops, Sabre-Toothed Tiger, (Tina), Puckasaurus!

 AND WE'RE BACKKKKKK!

I love Glee as much as the next glee blogger but I have to admit that I have been slightly disappointed with the new episodes since "On My Way." There have been too many neatly tied up storylines and not enough situations in which I lie in bed tossing and turning about what happens next. (btw did anyone else get the Watch What Happens reference from Nene?) BRAVOTV Bitches.

But this episode was a breath of fresh air, and by fresh air I mean the stench of failure, rejection and domestic abuse!! Please view this clip to fully understand what I think of when I hear the word "choke."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gWIJCt3p8s. Ok now that we have that out of the way...

The first one of our highlighted characters to choke was none other than Puckasaurus. Apparently knocking girls up and cleaning pools in the winter does not translate into book smarts; and after deciding that rocking Green Day eye makeup and being a deadbeat dad wasn't for him- Puck buckled down to study some geography! He literally kissed an old lady's neck to not fail bahahahha that was uncomfortable. The boys were like "no man left behind" and somehow teen Jesus was invited to the locker room club even though he is clearly has never lifted a weight in his life. And Puck studied "so hard" with the boys- they had to pass him right? WRONG.  Ok, he drew a rock dino on his test. He failed. But I am glad he failed for several reasons: 1. I needed something realistic to happen in up in this show 2. I need some drama in my life 3. Maybe he will be in the glee club next year?? Hellz yeah. His dad showed up for two seconds, too. WHATEVER MAN.

So Puck choked on his test. But onto a more literal choking... Coach Beiste was featured in yet another Glee life lesson- this time about domestic violence. Ok. Although I should not be surprised that a man who calls himself COOTER is a heathen/foolio, I have to say I was TRULY shocked that he was abusive to cuddly ole Beiste. Poor Coach Beiste. Did he break his hand? Hahah oh that was insensitive.  Cooter seems like such a nice guy. But I guess that was the point that they were trying to get across to Mercedes, Sugar, Satana and Brit Brit- who I will refer to as the Muses from this point forward. Black Sue, Original Recipe Sue and the Muses did their best to support Beiste but in the end she was too insecure to leave her hubby. Beiste really did a GROOOOOL job making us understand how hard it can be to leave your man, especially since she is someone who has not had luck with love in the past. Did anyone else want her to beat Cooter's ass in the very end? Now that would have spiced up my life, she could have recruited Lauren Zizes. Remember when she rocked Santana? LIMA HEIGHTS ADJACENT.

The last and most important part of this episode was of course, Rachel and Kurt's NYADA auditions. My heart was near explosion through all these parts. So many questions...Play it safe or go with what you know? Rachel thought that Kurt was self-sabotaging by trying to take a risk but it turns out that she maybe didn't know so much herself. Wait, that isn't right is it?

SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING! So Kurt announced his song choice and Whoopi gave him one of these. (couldn't find the link but just imagine what I'm trying to get across). But then he decided to take a risk and ripped off his outer layer to reveal some gold pants and a new song. Ha cha cha! This performance took me back to Rose's Turn in Season one and then Whoopi gave him

HIGH PRAISE.

And all the while you could see the slight glimmer of panic in Ray Ray's eyes when she realized that her song choice was a little safe- but no...she was READY to kick this shit. And then she went out there AND.... she choked like a DAWG. Oooooh the horror!!! WHYYYYY?? That was almost too much to take.  It just doesn't make sense- Rachel Berry does not choke... what could have brought this on? Is Finn stifling her talent? Were Whoopi's hippie glasses reflecting the light right into her pupils? Do her bangs weigh too heavily on her forehead, thereby putting pressure on a vital memory section of the brain? This was heartbreaking, and RB let it all out after she choked so bad it was like she was put in the chokey and forced to eat an entire chocolate cake in front of her classmates. Looks like NYADA is out? We shall see. I mean if Quinn can survive a car crash I'm sure Rachel can overcome a bad audition.

Overall Grade for the Episode: A

Great performances from Beiste and Rachel. Sue and NeNe were funny, and Puck is fine.

Favorite Performance of the episode: Shake it out performed by the Muses. Harmonizing on an A+ song whilst peeps are crying just cannot go wrong. So flawless... gave Tina some shine, too.

Least favorite performance of the episode: The Rain in Spain. What would possess them to put this in the show.

Favorite Moment(s) of the Episode:

Tina serving up the comedy in the Phantom of the opera rehearsal. And  the Liza Minneli death scare. Also Blaine's hair gel advice.

Least favorite moment of the episode: The disappointing singing and dancing in Cell Block Tango. Watch and Learn.

Other random thoughts:

-NeNe, you're right- Cell Block Tango is not empowering-That lady at the pool is who I want to be in 20 years
-Loved the throwback Regionals dresses from season 1
Where the f was Quinn? Is she taking extended days off? Did she already go to Yale or something?
-NEW REVELATION. Smiley blonde guitar player in the background of shake it out. Weyud.

Next Week's Episode:
PROM IS DINOSAUR THEMED!!!! Last year's prom episode was one of the best ever so they better brrrrring it.