Amazing episode. I knew Glee
had a reason for all of its bullshit! It all came together so brilliantly in
this week's VDAY/Wedding Episode. It was freaking perfect all the way.
Last week Finn kissed Emma and so this week Finn was thinking
"I'm a dumbass idiot" (which he is) and Emma was still stressing the
fuck out about planning and her fiance's best man smooching her. (I personally
can't wait to plan my wedding seating chart, it's like picking seating at the
Grammy's. Gotta make sure T Swizzle and John Mayer sit as close as possible for
maximum drama!) Mr. Shue wasn't
really helping ole Emma out... and it's a bit concerning that he would rather spend
time yelling "ha HA!" with his Glee Club than calming down his
obviously hysterical bride-to-be. But hey, Emma knew what she was getting
herself into the day she met this man. He loves his glee club what can you do??
Meet me at the altar in
your conservative white dress, we ain't gettin no better at being teachers so
we might as well do it.
But Emma is just a hot
mess! Her OCD and bird lady tendencies are getting the best of her and after a
maniacal duet with opera-singing Shue and 'Cedes, she FLEES THE SCENE like a
robber in the night!! Run
away from me baby, run away. Yeah she pulled a Mr. Big but she didn't try
to come back. Gosh I wish Emma came back so Mr. Shue could have beaten her with some
flowersand Puck could have pointed his finger sternly, saying
"NO." Damn missed opportunities to recreate a classic!
But kudos to Glee, because
we know now that completing the mission at Ginger Wedding Convention was never
the plan, the plan was to get all of the kids together for a Valentine's Day party
in semi-formal attire! The following kids are out with the Asian Bird Flu: Kitty,
Sugar, Unique, Joe- they not outchea. Which just means Glee didn't have enough money
to pay the whole cast this week.
But the new kids that
remained were fucking great. Marley and
Jake are dating ya know, and for VDay Marley got Jake cufflinks made from a
TYPEWRITER?? wtf how does that work. Maybe I don't understand what a cufflink
is, or maybe I don't understand what a typewriter is. And we are starting to
see that maybe Jake isn't all he is cracked up to be because he forgot to get
Marley anything for Valentine's Day and is considering taking weirdly dressed
Puck's advice to use her eating disorder as a way to save money on a date and
see a skinny girl in lingerie. Luckily, Ryder
Strong is there to be a good friend and give Jake advice on how to rock
Marley's Vday socks followed by very solemn glances of longing. So Ryder helps
Jake KILL IT, and Marley eats it up. Then at the Ginger Convention, Jake
decides he wants to try to take it to the next level (meaning sex), but both Marley
and Ryder agrees that she isn't ready. Marley then figures out that Ryder was
behind all of the VDay sweetness, and when she goes to thank him, Ryder does
what any best friend would do and professes his love and kisses her! Sneak
attack! My thoughts on this love triangle:
- It is grool. There is no
better shape than a triangle.
- It is even grooler
because Marley is about to actually be faced with a dilemma. Jake is perfect in
every way and clearly loves her, but also, Ryder is perfect in every way and
loves her. I have no idea who she will choose and I hope it gets hella dramatic
yo!
Moving on to more
triangular patterns with the old kids.
There were so many I feel I can't even attempt paragraph form right now.
- Blaine and Kurt and Tina
and Adams Apple
- Rachel and Finn and
Brody
- Sam and Brittany and
Santana and Quinn
- Artie and Ali and
Sugar??? YES WHERE WAS SUGAR PEOPLE?
But before I start that,
one more thing about the non-kids. Sue
was genius in this episode. It's been a while since she has been genius and it
was a welcome return to brilliance! The walking down the aisle was epic, as was
the line about the stripped down version of "I Will Survive." My
meeting Jane Lynch must have finally rubbed off on her. (by meeting I mean
seeing at close range.)
So we catch up with Blaine and Kurt making out in the back
of a car!! LOVE IT WHEN YOU TALK FRAT TO ME!!! They are all over each other and
cute at the wedding, but Kurt is trying to play it cool. Boy I know you want me
I can see it in your eyes! Also in someone's eye is a look of straight
psychopathic terror and that someone is Ms. Tina Cohen Chang. Yeah Tina went
off on Kurt and admitted that she vapor raped Blaine and then Kurt called her a
hag and Klaine decided to help Tina get a new bf. OK WTF Mike Chang was right
there lookin scrumpcious!! Tina, come on ride the train.
Also, Santana and Quinn were each other's dates commiserating over bad
luck in love and how hot they both are. And then everybody in the club gettin
tipsy and all of a sudden we've got ourselves a hot lesbian hookup!! Even this
was great and kind of awesome, I just don't want Santana to fall in love with
her. For a bad ass, Santana sho nuff is a needy bitch.
Freakin Aly (Ali) from the Glee Project 2
rolled up in there overacting as much as ever to be Artie's new love interest.
She did an okay job considering her tendency to make horrific facial
expressions. And Artie put it down!
In a nerdy way. I'm sure Maggie Klee was foaming at the mouth.
Now to the most important
couple of the century, FINCHEL.
Rachel arrived to the wedding sans Brody
because they want to keep it casual and apparently he is some kind of hooker or
drug dealer. So Rachel and Finn naturally had to sing a duet together since Finn
was so narvous about kissing Emma and all and Rachel was freshly spray tanned
for the occasion. There was a lot of flirting and a lot of a tension now that
Finn has been dieting, and I loved it all! Finn finally broke it down for
Rachel- no matter what happens in between, we will be together in the end. SO
FETCH. And then they sang a perfect duet and oh did I mention they got it on? Yeah
they did man! And so did Blaine and Kurt, Santana and Quinn and Artie and Aly.
At the end of it all, we
are left with a few parting thoughts. Here they are, spelled out in list form
for you:
1. Aly and Artie are about
to start dating. Bitch didn't win. Get Aylin in here.
2. Mr. Shue is still
without his boo, has no idea where she is. Going to work with Finny Bear to find
her and win her back.
3. Quinn is still straight
but willing to go another round?
4. Rachel loves Finn. Finn
loves Rachel.
5. Kurt and Blaine are
still not together but it's looking better for them. And Tina seems to be over
Blaine.
6. Marley and Jake are
still in love and Ryder is still sulking in the background.
7. Rachel is
pregnant!?!?!?!? There is no way her small body can carry that baby to term. Do
I smell an abortion episode in the near future? Hot Button Issue #504.
Overall Grade for the Episode: A+++ BEST EPISODE EVER. EVER. EVER. Maybe not ever
but definitely of the season.
Favorite Performances of the Episode: ALL OF THESE WERE SO GROOL SO I WILL GIVE THEM ALL
THEIR PROPS AS SUCH:
#3 You're All I Need To Get By performed by Jake and Marley. Hearts
and pink and beautiful voices and happiness. I want to be Marley.
#2 We've Got Tonight performed by Rachel and Finn featuring everyone
else. SO FREAKING GROOL. We've Got Tonight to have sex in a hotel room.
#1 Just Can't Get Enough performed by Kurt and Blaine. Can't go wrong
with a Klaine duet. And the freaking reception dancing was on point
Least Favorite Performance of the Episode: Getting
Married Today performed by Will,
Emma and Mercedes. It wasn't bad, Emma actually did a really grool job but it
just alarmed me for a good portion of it and Will singing like he is on Broadway
is never good.
Favorite Moment of the Episode: Either Sue walking down the aisle or Brittany and
Sam dancing hilariously at the reception.
Least Favorite Moment of the Episode: "She loves me, she loves me not" lines.
Finn you are a wanksta and you need to stop frontin.
Other Thoughts
- When I saw Mercedes I
realized that I have missed her. Is that how I'm going to feel about Tina when
she graduates?? Doubtful.
- I never saw Mr. Shue in
DC once so I think someone needs to double check his story
- Puck and Kitty are
dating now. This could work. Except she is a SOPHOMORE! I thought he liked
cougars?
- Becky as the flower girl
- Why is Mr. Shue's class
learning about the history of the bald eagle?
- Everytime I hear
"Anything Could Happen" I only picture 5th Harmony with those big ass
bows on their heads
- Of course Rachel's short
ass caught the bouquet because that is plausible
- If you want to cry
today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tXAg5XdK8ac
Glist:
1. Sam. He had no lines in
this episode but his reception dancing said it all
2. Ryder
3. Rachel
4. Blaine
5. Kurt
6. Jake
7. Emma
8. Sue
9. Mike Chang
10. Artie
Next New Episode:
Tres semanas??? Are you
joking? Vamos al cine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSePfqwO-WE
No comments:
Post a Comment